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Not Exams But Only Life Skills Can Help Children Become Independent!

April 2018

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Parents nowadays leave no stone unturned in providing all facilities to children. From latest gadgets to surf the web to best publications to read, from the most luxurious meals to the choicest of clothes, parents want to raise their children in such a way that they grow up to become happy and functional adults.

However, it becomes a major problem and a source of rift when children fail to score high marks and top among the crowd. While parents fall into a dilemma of what more can they do to make their children score better marks, students have their share of problems as well. Lack of confidence and support, which breeds fear, are considered as the biggest hurdles to their performance. Further, it was noted that all these distractions that they faced summed up to one thing—parental pressure.

In order to find out possible solutions to the issue, we talked to a few principals of leading schools in the country. In light of why parents pressurize their children, Fr Jose Thekkel, T.O.R, Principal of Mt. Assisi School in Bhagalpur, Bihar, said, “Undue pressure on students exerted by overenthusiastic, overambitious parents has become the order of the day forgetting the stress that children go through.” Discerning the trend, he further stated that the reasons behind such pressure on children coming from parents could be the result of unrealistic quest for social status and unrealistic expectations that they come up with.

Mrs Jaspreet Kaur, Vice Principal of Bal Bhavan International School in Dwarka, New Delhi, clarified saying, “Education is very important in one’s life, but to be a self-sufficient adult, the child should learn some life skills, which is the need of the hour. Many of us take life skills for granted. But the fact is that only life skills can help children become independent.”

While it was difficult to identify a set cause of the issue, Fr Jose said “The problem lies in an obsession with uniformity and unwillingness to adapt and change. Parents need to keep in mind that every child is unique and unparalleled and it is his call to become a self-made person. It is parents' duty to help their children to realise their originality and not to copy someone blindly.”

Being a mother herself, Mrs Kaur shared, “Parenting isn’t a smooth road and is nothing short of a challenging experience. Children listen, observe and imitate their parents. They should practise what they teach their children and avoid hypocrisy at all times when it comes to actually proving by their own actions.”

Consistency in establishing healthy dialogues with his teachers, friends and parents throughout the year is more important than scoring highest marks in examinations. This could give a hope to kids to gradually start sharing their thoughts and ideas freely with their parents.

In this era of competition, children must know that if there is somebody who will always be the pillar of support for them, it is their parents.

Here are a few things parents can do to inspire children to learn beyond the obvious:

Inspire children to take part in co-curricular activities

Don’t restrict them to just bookish knowledge. Not everything in life is scripted and a few things like togetherness or team work equally contribute to a child’s growth, which they learn through co-curricular activities.

They should learn to respect people

Respecting elders and being considerate is something we would want a kid to build as his etiquette. The same understanding must be groomed in a child’s mentality by showcasing it in our own actions.

Learn through observations

Parents should expose children to various situations and people, which will help build their confidence, self-esteem and boost their power to distinguish between the right and wrong to further build their integrity.

Relax and enjoy

Parents should strictly avoid scolding their children for silly mistakes they do. Imagine how beautiful a child’s life would be if a parent assures him or her that it’s okay to be wrong sometimes. Being young, children must enjoy their studies rather getting traumatised under pressure.

Invest in a hobby

Parents must encourage their children to go out and learn new things. In this age of fast information, it’s nice to have a hobby that helps a person to relax and enjoy life. Also, it opens doors to explore more opportunities for a better future.

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